Blackness Credit Report

Well, the BET Awards came on last night and, as I do every year around this time, I decided to run my Blackness Credit Report. It is so hard to get to 800. Apparently, refusing to play BET in my house automatically knocks off 100 points. I live in a White neighborhood so that’s holding me back. I had a baby in wedlock so I got credit for uniqueness, but not giving her a name that ended in ‘A’ negated that credit.

On the plus side, I have ramen noodles, potted meat, sardines and Kool-Aid in my cabinet so that gave me some points. I grew up without a father and was born to a teenage mother so that gives me semi-decent credit but it’s still a leap away from “good” Blackness credit.